Much of the way we experience our day comes from what we expect of it. Expect amazing things today and it will be. Expect a bad day and that’s pretty much what you’ll get. It’s pretty simple.
A while back, I took a day off to go paddleboarding in Malibu. It was totally delicious. The water was gorgeous, the sun was shining, and a pod of dolphins swam by. I had looked forward to this for days.
I can tell you for sure that one thing that helped make it so great was that I expected it to be! In the days leading it up to going, I was making statements (affirmations, really) like, “I’m going paddleboarding on Thursday. It’s going to be amazing!”
I grew up with a major fear of the ocean. I wouldn’t even go in past my knees. For a Southern California girl, you can imagine this might be a bit of an issue. Years ago, I finally set my mind to overcoming the fear, and now I’m passionate about water sports. I snorkel, free dive, surf, and swim. Anywhere in or near the ocean is a very happy place for me! But, to be honest, there is still a sneaky little voice inside of me that will creep in and stir up anxiety when I’m faced with going into the open ocean far from the shore.
Before my day off for paddleboarding in Malibu, that annoying little voice was tempting me to make statements like, “I’m a little nervous I might fall in,” or “Going that far from the shore can be scary.” I guarantee if that were the mindset I’d been in prior to hitting the water, it would have drastically changed my experience. But, I chose to ignore those negative, limiting thoughts and instead chose to expect a fantastic experience. And it was.
Our expectations for the day usually begin in the morning. When you wake up, be conscious about the statements you’re making and the thoughts you’re choosing about the day ahead. If you’re thinking, “That marketing meeting this afternoon is going to suck big time,” you’re not only setting yourself up for a negative experience, you’re also putting out low vibrations that affect other aspects of life too. Changing your outlook and expectations can literally change what you experience. And, aligning your expectations with your positive intentions gives you that much more momentum.
This isn’t to say that everything will always turn out the way we expect it to. That would be boring! It’s also not to say that having powerful, positive expectations will never lead to disappointment. That happens sometimes, and there are always lessons to be received there. This is just to say that our expectations play a huge role in shaping the way we live – the richness, the light, the growth, and the joy.
So, when it comes to creating a fantastic life, be sure to add setting high-quality, positive expectations to your happiness toolbox. It’s a powerful thing to expect awesomeness. To Expect fantastic experiences. Expect an amazing, delicious, joyful life and it will be.
Hi Friends! In my latest podcast episode, I talk about what I feel is the missing link to happiness, and how you can use this as the key to creating major positive change in your life. I also chat about getting to know and love the new you after a loss, time of transition, or major life change. It can be empowering!
And – great news! In addition to iTunes, my podcast is now available on Clear Channel’s iHeartRadio! Download the app and listen right from your phone. You can also listen in the box below.
Thanks to all of you for listening and for the great feedback! Another new episode will be out later this week.
Enjoy & much love,
Hi Friends! In the latest episode of Happy, Free, & Wild, two cliché sayings we heard growing up that resulted in our staying small and holding back.
Plus, how tapping deeply into our intuition can result in the spiritual smack we need to get unstuck. Is a bird in the hand really better? Is the grass your standing on always greener? Are you really safe staying in the “safe zone”?
Listen in on iTunes or below and find out!Read More
If you’re in a situation (work, relationship, or any…) where you’re not receiving the respect, love, and kindness that you deserve, or, where your inner voice is just telling you, “This was a bad idea…” – or “How did I get myself in to this?” – give yourself permission to create an exit plan and start moving toward the door. Examine what you’re tolerating and make shifts accordingly. Life will support you.
So, I had a random little experience while visiting Paris (totally in love with that city) earlier this month that was empowering, a little brave, super fun, and thought provoking – all at the same time.
We had booked an afternoon tour to visit Monet’s Gardens at Giverny, which I was looking forward to being a passionate gardener. On the day of the tour, it poured rain. I’m talking buckets.
We showed up, since the booking confirmation said rain or shine. The bus was an hour late to pick up our group, and the city was gridlocked with traffic jams. We were feeling uneasy about the circumstances, but boarded the bus anyway.
A few minutes into the ride, rain pounding so hard we couldn’t see out the windows, the driver announced that it would take at least 90 minutes to get to our destination, at which point we might only have a half an hour before they closed. I looked around the bus, which was inching along in traffic, and saw people looking pretty miserable. I tapped my friend on the shoulder and whispered, “Do you want to get off? Do you want me to ask the driver to stop the bus?” It was an easy decision.
I got up and politely asked the driver to stop the bus so we could jump off. We had no plan, but anything seemed better than spending 4 hours round trip on a tour bus to spend 30 minutes at a garden in the middle of a storm.
At the next light, the driver opened the doors, and we said, “au revoir,” jumping off the bus in the rain, laughing and feeling thrilled by our decision. How to spend a free afternoon… in Paris… in the rain? Suddenly, the rain seemed like the best thing in the world!
We walked the shops and found a little café, where we ordered a bottle of wine, some amazing food, and spent time people watching and chatting with locals. It was a delicious, joy-filled few hours that turned out to be a the result of a good, split second decision to abandon a plan gone wrong.
This experience got me thinking about how many times in our lives we find ourselves on a bus we probably shouldn’t have gotten on, headed in a direction we don’t feel good about.
We’ve all been in situations where our inner-voice was telling us to abandon ship, and for whatever reason, we kept going to our own detriment. We give in to pressure from obligation, pressure from others, fear of disappointing people, or maybe even because we invested and are hesitant to lose our investment – even if the price of staying on course is more costly.
We spent over $200 on that tour, but we realized quickly that even if we didn’t get our money back, it was worth the loss not to have to waste an afternoon stuck in traffic on a tour bus. We weighed our options and decided the potential loss was okay with us – and it turned out to be the right decision. We did get a refund, by the way.
So, here’s what I want to share with you and get you thinking about…
If there is any situation in your life – a job, a relationship, and obligation… anything that you don’t feel right about, but have been unsure of what to do or afraid to make an exit… just do it. It doesn’t have to be a graceful exit. It doesn’t have to be perfect, and you may disappoint some people. But, it’s not about that. It’s about being true to you.
I can remember times in my life where I stayed unhappy in jobs for way too long, went on trips I didn’t want to go on, and gave my time to things that didn’t feed my soul out of obligation. I can remember many times I went through with things I didn’t want to do because I was afraid of disappointing people.
Now, there is something to be said for keeping a commitment if it’s going to hurt people or cause big problems if you don’t follow through, but 95% of the time, that’s not the case. And, you want to know what else? People will forgive you, and they’re much more understanding than you think.
Many of these situations can be avoided by being more conscious and really examining how you feel about a commitment or situation before getting yourself embedded in it. Sometimes a “no” is the best solution. But they can’t always be avoided- sometimes we don’t know things are going to go south until we’re in the thick of it.
So, if you’re in one of these situations, how to begin your plan to get off your metaphorical bus to misery? First, ask yourself, “What’s the worst that can happen?” or “Can they do fine without me, really?” You’ll find that the answers are usually pretty supportive of your desire to exit. Trust me, almost every time they CAN get by without you and everything will be fine.
Then, make a call, have a conversation, or send an email – whatever you feel is appropriate – and kindly explain from your heart the way you feel, that you need to remove yourself, and if needed, that you are happy to assist with any transition resulting from your exit. It can be uncomfortable, but the discomfort will be short lived – and the result just may be an amazing afternoon at a Paris café – or something even better.
Let go of what’s not working. Be brave enough to move on. Make bold choices. It’s okay if they’re last minute, split second, or otherwise – as long as you’re following your inner-voice. Be audacious enough to ask the driver to stop the bus so you can jump off and see what adventures are waiting for you.
P.S. – Be sure to comment & share below – I’d love to hear from you! And, feel free to download your free copy of my Empower Your Day eBook on the right of this page so I can keep you posted on future happiness happenings! Here’s to soul freedom! xoRead More
Hi Friends! I hope your summer’s off to a fantastic start! I’ve got great news to share! My brand new podcast, Happy, Free, & Wild with Kristi Ling – is now available on iTunes!
I’ve been working on launching this for quite some time. You can help make it a success by listening and subscribing – I think you’ll really enjoy it!
In the premiere episode, you can hear my interview with the inspiring Queen of Disco, Gloria Gaynor, about divine timing, making it through challenging times, and the story behind her iconic song, I Will Survive! (I was so thrilled to interview her). Who has not belted that song out at one point or another?!
Hear the behind-the-scenes story of her legendary smash hit song, her new album, and get the scoop on her awesome new book, We Will Survive – True Stories of Encouragement, Inspiration, and the Power of Song.
Enjoy the premiere episode, as well as episode #2, which is up too! (I wanted to start things off with a bang.) Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode by clicking on “view in iTunes” and then hitting the “subscribe” button.
Be sure to leave a rating/review in iTunes as well to help share the news. So much great stuff coming up! It’s going to be an amazing summer!
Much Love & soul freedom,
xo KristiRead More
Hi Friends! It’s been beautiful lately here in L.A., so I’ve had tons of opportunity to work in my garden. It’s one of those things that totally lights me up! Here’s a picture (left) of the peaceful new seating area I just finished.
While building a fence over the weekend (yes, me with hammers, nails, wood, and wire!), I had a powerful thought about happiness, grief, and our ability to heal that I wanted to share with you.
I was happily hammering away at a fence post when I felt familiar pangs of pain yanking at my heart. They came on suddenly, as they sometimes do. I felt a little frustrated that a loss occurring nearly two years ago in my life was still stabbing at me at the most random moments. Can you relate?
Even the happiest, most grounded people aren’t immune to pain from devastating grief and loss, which everyone will experience at some point. But, I grew up believing that old saying, “Time heals all wounds.” I heard it from my family, from the media, and from my teachers. However, I’ve come to know the real big truth about that… Time itself doesn’t heal anything at all – WE DO – it just takes time to do it. (Click to Tweet!)
And, sometimes it takes quite a while. And we need to push forward, even when we don’t want to. Cut ourselves a break for the time it’s taking. Continue actively taking steps to get better. Every single day. Healing, just like happiness, does not take place without action. Action is what heals. Effort. Practice. It may not be what we want to hear, but it’s the truth. And, it’s where our power to thrive and shine again resides.
So, what I want to share with you is that if you’re hanging out waiting for time to heal your heart, your spirit, or even your body… we all need to remember that it’s not time’s responsibility to do that… it’s ours, and action is required if progress is going to happen. Time is just a friend to help us along the journey.
We heal our heartache, grief, and regrets through action, growth, forgiveness, and gratitude…and through frequent, deliberate steps to move forward and step into the awesomeness and light that is here in this moment, and always waiting for us around the next corner if we allow.
Have you ever read The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett? It’s my favorite novel of all time (if you’re a Game of Thrones fan like me, you would also dig this book). There’s a great analogy for this message in there.
In the The Pillars of the Earth, it takes the builders of 12th century England decades to build the massive, majestic cathedrals. Everyone talks about how long it took. But, time did not build the cathedrals, the builders did. Their effort, sweat, creativity, and action… and just look at the amazing result. They powered through and made it happen, no matter what life threw at them.
So, I invite you to join me in recognizing that we are always the ones with the power. While time is a factor (a broken bone, for example, takes a certain amount of time – but also care – to heal), it’s not the driving force.
What healing actions can you take today to expand your happiness and health? Step forward, break out your best moves, and make room for the amazing things that are waiting. Here we go!
Love, sunshine, and healing action,
Do you ever feel like something’s missing in an area of your life? Relationships, business, passions… it’s something most of us experience at one time or another.
Long ago, I learned from A Course in Miracles that when you feel like something’s missing in any situation, the answer is what’s missing is what you’re not giving. I’ve found this to be powerfully true in so many instances. It’s an idea that’s changed the way I show up in many areas of my life for the better, and keeps me focused on always doing the best I can, asking, “What more can I offer?”
But, I’ve recently learned there’s something else that can help us shift that feeling that something’s missing — connection. Deep, soulful connection – to other like-minded people, the Universe, nature, a higher power. It’s something so many of us cruise through our days on autopilot without paying much attention to or consciously inviting into our lives. But that’s the thing… it must be consciously created.
What happens when we go without this for too long is that our soul starts to feel there’s a gap – like a vitamin deficiency of the spirit. Lack of deep connection in our lives can feel like driving a car with partially deflated tires. The result can be that familiar, empty feeling that something’s missing. It can cause us to feel a bit sad, stressed, hollow… even depressed… without really being able to pinpoint the cause.
It takes conscious effort to nurture that part of us that is in need of deeper connections. It takes reaching out, deliberate effort, mindful communication, precious time out of our day… but when we create the habit of seeking and nurturing these connections, the empty feelings fade and those spaces are filled with powerful joy, peace, happiness and purpose. If we shift to live this way regularly, we can reduce or eliminate that “something’s missing” feeling, and become more connected to Love, the Universe, to each other, and to community at the same time.
Deeper connection can mean different things to each of us, and the connections we need can sometimes change. It’s all about going within and listening to what kinds of connections your own soul is craving. Deep conversation with friends? Prayer? Meditation? Brainstorming with people who share your passions? Art? Touch?
A few areas I’m looking to create deeper connection in my life are with nature (I’ve been working in my garden TONS and it really lights me up!), with friends (It’s so easy when you work from home to go weeks without seeing loved ones), and with the ocean. The ocean, to me, is such a powerful place of magical connections and reminders of things far bigger than we can imagine. I plan to spend much more time there.
So, I invite you to join me in seeking and creating deeper, more meaningful connections. What’s your soul longing for? Maybe it’s a more regular spiritual practice, or maybe it’s simply spending more sacred time with a beloved friend or pet. Let me know in the comments section. Whatever it is for you, always be seeking… always be making the time. Connection – to Love, passion, and to higher energetic vibrations – is the master key to filling life’s empty spaces.
Much Love & soulful connection,