Hi Friends! I’m sharing how I live on purpose by answering a few questions from my inspiring friend Dr. Danielle Dowling in support of her new book The Soul Sessions, a 5-week guide to crafting greater joy and making big things happen. Get a wee, free sample here! Here we go! …
Q: How do you let go of the chase for perfection?
KL: Long ago, I was able to let go of chasing perfection by changing my perspective on what perfection actually is. Sometimes it’s just that things worked out in spite of bumps in the road – things working out, no matter how, is always perfection. Sometimes perfection is the lessons I learn when things don’t go the way I’d hoped they would. What could be more perfect than learning and growing? Embracing imperfection and changing the way we look at perfection makes all the difference.
Q: How do you pinpoint what isn’t working?
KL: You really have to be consciously and deliberately in tune with yourself to be regularly pinpointing what isn’t working so you can create shifts, large and small, to keep you on the path to your best life. When I was much younger, I didn’t pay nearly enough attention to what I was tolerating in my life, and therefore, was living in a stressed out state of constantly having my energy drained and feeling frustrated. When I started looking carefully at what wasn’t working for me (even the small stuff), and making changes accordingly, my life opened up in amazing ways. One of my missions now is to always be mindfully “cleaning out my emotional closet” to make room for fabulous new things.
Q: How do you know when you’ve “arrived” or finally “made it happen?”
KL: I’m always celebrating. Small victories, big accomplishments, and even just the everyday. To me, waking up in the morning is “arriving.” Every morning is a chance to create fantastic things. Another big thing for me that tells me I’m on the right path is when I receive emails, comments, or posts from people who read my blog or take part in one of my courses telling me that something I shared made a difference for them. This is like rocket fuel for me! It’s why I do what I do. When I know that something I’ve said or written has helped one person, that’s the ultimate feeling of “making it happen.”
Thanks to my friend, Dr. Danielle Dowling, for these great questions! I invite you to share how you live on purpose in the comments below. And, be sure to check out Danielle’s new book, The Soul Sessions, a 5-week guide to crafting greater joy and making big things happen. You can snap up a free sample here!
If I could share just one thing with the world about happiness, this would be it. If you’ve struggled in your life with creating sustainable, lasting happiness, this is for you, and it’s very important…
Happiness is many things – a mindset, a choice, a feeling – but the MOST important thing to know about happiness – and the little known missing link – is that happiness is a SKILL.
When you embrace happiness as a skill that you can learn to do, practice, and become good at… just like learning to play a musical instrument or speaking a new language… everything changes!
Consciously practice happiness every single day by deliberately re-focusing on positive thinking, doing the things that bring you joy, creating healthy happiness habits, practicing self-love, and taking ridiculously good care of your precious mind, body, and spirit.
Research, try different things, discover what supports your happiness — and regularly invite more of THAT into your life on purpose. Make it your top priority. Work at it like you would work at learning a challenging new computer application. Do this with great effort EVERY DAY – mindfully and deliberately DO happiness – and after a while, it will become part of you. Your natural state. Suddenly, you’ll find that you’re fluent in happiness! And, your life will be forever changed.
It may take weeks for you, and it may take months or even longer. Don’t give up, everyone is different. You’ll feel the shift when it happens. If you stick to it and don’t stop – you will literally re-program your brain, your actions, and your cells to naturally live in a state of cultivating happiness and inner-peace.
This doesn’t mean that you won’t experience difficult times in life, everyone does, but it does mean that you’ll be regularly living in a natural state of happiness, and the skills you develop to live in that new happy state will also support you through the hard times too. Everything becomes easier, more light filled, and more doable.
Happiness is the required skill for living our very best life that they forgot to teach us in school.
Are you ready to learn, practice, and master the SKILL of happiness? Let’s go!
xo Love, Kristi
P.S. - Be sure to download my free happiness audio & eBook on the right side of this page – they’ll get you started! And, you’ll be the first to know about my upcoming 4-week eCourse, Happiness Bootcamp!
Hi Amazing Friends!
Hope you’re enjoying this beautiful fall season so far! I’m loving it! And, I’ve just been inspired to share with you one of my personal secrets for creating more peace, focus, and clarity in my life – rituals.
Rituals (many I’ve made up or customized just for me) have been a powerful, supportive part of my life for a long time. One of my faves is going to the beach, writing a word in the sand that represents something I would like to release, and letting the waves wash over the word until it disappears. So cleansing!
Rituals are used by all kinds of successful people to deal with the craziness of their lives, and to create balance and inspiration. You may even have some of your own.
For me, this is an area of my life I’d like to expand this season. There’s an awesome new book I’ll be reading called Your Hidden Riches – Unleashing the Power of Ritual to Create a Life of Meaning and Purpose. It’s written by the NY Times bestselling authors of The Passion Test, Janet Bray Attwood and Chris Attwood, and has been praised by Paulo Coelho, Jack Canfield, Don Miguel Ruiz & many other wonderful people!
I just ordered mine today and am excited to expand this part of my life. Want to join me? You can get yours here (plus, it comes with some awesome bonus gifts you’ll love!)
Chris and Janet say they’re not talking about empty rituals (like rushing through grace to get to dinner). They say rituals are behaviors and actions we consciously infuse with meaning, and that ritual can be a powerful conduit to a life filled with deeper meaning and contentment. I totally agree! Some rituals have been amazingly transformative for me.
This is a book you’ll not only enjoy reading, but you’ll come back to it again and again because it’s filled with practical rituals for every area of your life.
I’ve seen Janet and Chris speak on several occasions and their teachings have meant a great deal to me. Their wisdom is moving and practical. I’m excited to read their new book and super happy to share it with you!
There’s never a better time than right now to take steps toward transforming your life into exactly what you want it to be.
Love & happy adventures,
P.S. – If you order yours now, you’ll be reading it at the same time I am. I’d love to hear your thoughts – just reply to this email to reach me!
Much of the way we experience our day comes from what we expect of it. Expect amazing things today and it will be. Expect a bad day and that’s pretty much what you’ll get. It’s pretty simple.
A while back, I took a day off to go paddleboarding in Malibu. It was totally delicious. The water was gorgeous, the sun was shining, and a pod of dolphins swam by. I had looked forward to this for days.
I can tell you for sure that one thing that helped make it so great was that I expected it to be! In the days leading it up to going, I was making statements (affirmations, really) like, “I’m going paddleboarding on Thursday. It’s going to be amazing!”
I grew up with a major fear of the ocean. I wouldn’t even go in past my knees. For a Southern California girl, you can imagine this might be a bit of an issue. Years ago, I finally set my mind to overcoming the fear, and now I’m passionate about water sports. I snorkel, free dive, surf, and swim. Anywhere in or near the ocean is a very happy place for me! But, to be honest, there is still a sneaky little voice inside of me that will creep in and stir up anxiety when I’m faced with going into the open ocean far from the shore.
Before my day off for paddleboarding in Malibu, that annoying little voice was tempting me to make statements like, “I’m a little nervous I might fall in,” or “Going that far from the shore can be scary.” I guarantee if that were the mindset I’d been in prior to hitting the water, it would have drastically changed my experience. But, I chose to ignore those negative, limiting thoughts and instead chose to expect a fantastic experience. And it was.
Our expectations for the day usually begin in the morning. When you wake up, be conscious about the statements you’re making and the thoughts you’re choosing about the day ahead. If you’re thinking, “That marketing meeting this afternoon is going to suck big time,” you’re not only setting yourself up for a negative experience, you’re also putting out low vibrations that affect other aspects of life too. Changing your outlook and expectations can literally change what you experience. And, aligning your expectations with your positive intentions gives you that much more momentum.
This isn’t to say that everything will always turn out the way we expect it to. That would be boring! It’s also not to say that having powerful, positive expectations will never lead to disappointment. That happens sometimes, and there are always lessons to be received there. This is just to say that our expectations play a huge role in shaping the way we live – the richness, the light, the growth, and the joy.
So, when it comes to creating a fantastic life, be sure to add setting high-quality, positive expectations to your happiness toolbox. It’s a powerful thing to expect awesomeness. To Expect fantastic experiences. Expect an amazing, delicious, joyful life and it will be.
Hi Friends! In my latest podcast episode, I talk about what I feel is the missing link to happiness, and how you can use this as the key to creating major positive change in your life. I also chat about getting to know and love the new you after a loss, time of transition, or major life change. It can be empowering!
And – great news! In addition to iTunes, my podcast is now available on Clear Channel’s iHeartRadio! Download the app and listen right from your phone. You can also listen in the box below.
Thanks to all of you for listening and for the great feedback! Another new episode will be out later this week.
Enjoy & much love,
Hi Friends! In the latest episode of Happy, Free, & Wild, two cliché sayings we heard growing up that resulted in our staying small and holding back.
Plus, how tapping deeply into our intuition can result in the spiritual smack we need to get unstuck. Is a bird in the hand really better? Is the grass your standing on always greener? Are you really safe staying in the “safe zone”?
Listen in on iTunes or below and find out!Read More
If you’re in a situation (work, relationship, or any…) where you’re not receiving the respect, love, and kindness that you deserve, or, where your inner voice is just telling you, “This was a bad idea…” – or “How did I get myself in to this?” – give yourself permission to create an exit plan and start moving toward the door. Examine what you’re tolerating and make shifts accordingly. Life will support you.
So, I had a random little experience while visiting Paris (totally in love with that city) earlier this month that was empowering, a little brave, super fun, and thought provoking – all at the same time.
We had booked an afternoon tour to visit Monet’s Gardens at Giverny, which I was looking forward to being a passionate gardener. On the day of the tour, it poured rain. I’m talking buckets.
We showed up, since the booking confirmation said rain or shine. The bus was an hour late to pick up our group, and the city was gridlocked with traffic jams. We were feeling uneasy about the circumstances, but boarded the bus anyway.
A few minutes into the ride, rain pounding so hard we couldn’t see out the windows, the driver announced that it would take at least 90 minutes to get to our destination, at which point we might only have a half an hour before they closed. I looked around the bus, which was inching along in traffic, and saw people looking pretty miserable. I tapped my friend on the shoulder and whispered, “Do you want to get off? Do you want me to ask the driver to stop the bus?” It was an easy decision.
I got up and politely asked the driver to stop the bus so we could jump off. We had no plan, but anything seemed better than spending 4 hours round trip on a tour bus to spend 30 minutes at a garden in the middle of a storm.
At the next light, the driver opened the doors, and we said, “au revoir,” jumping off the bus in the rain, laughing and feeling thrilled by our decision. How to spend a free afternoon… in Paris… in the rain? Suddenly, the rain seemed like the best thing in the world!
We walked the shops and found a little café, where we ordered a bottle of wine, some amazing food, and spent time people watching and chatting with locals. It was a delicious, joy-filled few hours that turned out to be a the result of a good, split second decision to abandon a plan gone wrong.
This experience got me thinking about how many times in our lives we find ourselves on a bus we probably shouldn’t have gotten on, headed in a direction we don’t feel good about.
We’ve all been in situations where our inner-voice was telling us to abandon ship, and for whatever reason, we kept going to our own detriment. We give in to pressure from obligation, pressure from others, fear of disappointing people, or maybe even because we invested and are hesitant to lose our investment – even if the price of staying on course is more costly.
We spent over $200 on that tour, but we realized quickly that even if we didn’t get our money back, it was worth the loss not to have to waste an afternoon stuck in traffic on a tour bus. We weighed our options and decided the potential loss was okay with us – and it turned out to be the right decision. We did get a refund, by the way.
So, here’s what I want to share with you and get you thinking about…
If there is any situation in your life – a job, a relationship, and obligation… anything that you don’t feel right about, but have been unsure of what to do or afraid to make an exit… just do it. It doesn’t have to be a graceful exit. It doesn’t have to be perfect, and you may disappoint some people. But, it’s not about that. It’s about being true to you.
I can remember times in my life where I stayed unhappy in jobs for way too long, went on trips I didn’t want to go on, and gave my time to things that didn’t feed my soul out of obligation. I can remember many times I went through with things I didn’t want to do because I was afraid of disappointing people.
Now, there is something to be said for keeping a commitment if it’s going to hurt people or cause big problems if you don’t follow through, but 95% of the time, that’s not the case. And, you want to know what else? People will forgive you, and they’re much more understanding than you think.
Many of these situations can be avoided by being more conscious and really examining how you feel about a commitment or situation before getting yourself embedded in it. Sometimes a “no” is the best solution. But they can’t always be avoided- sometimes we don’t know things are going to go south until we’re in the thick of it.
So, if you’re in one of these situations, how to begin your plan to get off your metaphorical bus to misery? First, ask yourself, “What’s the worst that can happen?” or “Can they do fine without me, really?” You’ll find that the answers are usually pretty supportive of your desire to exit. Trust me, almost every time they CAN get by without you and everything will be fine.
Then, make a call, have a conversation, or send an email – whatever you feel is appropriate – and kindly explain from your heart the way you feel, that you need to remove yourself, and if needed, that you are happy to assist with any transition resulting from your exit. It can be uncomfortable, but the discomfort will be short lived – and the result just may be an amazing afternoon at a Paris café – or something even better.
Let go of what’s not working. Be brave enough to move on. Make bold choices. It’s okay if they’re last minute, split second, or otherwise – as long as you’re following your inner-voice. Be audacious enough to ask the driver to stop the bus so you can jump off and see what adventures are waiting for you.
P.S. – Be sure to comment & share below – I’d love to hear from you! And, feel free to download your free copy of my Empower Your Day eBook on the right of this page so I can keep you posted on future happiness happenings! Here’s to soul freedom! xoRead More